shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
