idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
