we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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