im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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