proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
FUCK WHALES
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
