He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
