i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
