Screwed.edu
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
