I'm lost and stupid without you.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
