goodnight i made you a song goodbye
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
