I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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