Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
smell my finger.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
