I wanna bring you to show and tell
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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