Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
