I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize
