porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
