my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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