just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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