While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize