***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
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