Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize