Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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