I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
