he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
