Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
