Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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