no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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