Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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