whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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