I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
