When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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