so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
