My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
