i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
