in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize