Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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