What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
