nut hugger
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
