I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
