Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
party gras won. party gras always wins.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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