Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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