HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Farmville is her only friend.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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