Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
