We won't sleep together?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
