I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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