Non-Jews are for practice
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Please don't give away my fajitas
Drunk is a universal language darling
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
