Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
