I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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