I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
