And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
