Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
