she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize