I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
