is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
