Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I just found puke in my bra..
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
